Marriage: Never accept a visa without a work permit!

Marriage make an African woman a migrant; she gets to leave her father's house for another man's house. To really migrate following due process you need to be granted a visa and you need an international passport. It is typical of most European countries and first world countries to grant you a visa with some bit of restrictions. It is typical of an African man to marry a woman with some bit of restrictions too. Often time you see married women fighting these restrictions in their marriages when these restrictions were clearly spelt out before they sign off their maiden identity.

One of the headache of today's enlightened girls is the issue of the "headship" of a man in family. Today's family where economically it takes too to tango compare to the "oldschool" where the man is the automatic breadwinner. So, a today girl feels if she contributes to the resources to uphold the family then the style of leadership in homes must change from "I" to "We". Likewise, the level of Education and exposure with credence to gender equality question the age long African tradition of "Man is the head of the family."
The drama of "kitchen and other room" gives a picture of what modern marriages is going through in our society. Let us ignore the actor and actress and focus on the action. It is typical of African Man to come with a bit of restrictions in the marriage and this often start during courtship. Most females overlook this restrictions for whatever reasons known to them. The most common one is what I can tagged "work permit".

For those migrating abroad not to be given a work permit is as good as going there for an holiday or sightseeing it seems similar in marriage. The moment an African man come with a notion of restricting his wife from doing any thing to earn a living then there is need to be suspicious. Though, most African men come up with the notion out of love and because they have the financial muscle to shoulder their responsibility. Such men expected such wives to take Motherhood as a career but Motherhood is a vocation. Most women in this cadre end up channeling all their human resource to motherhood with little or no contribution to the other sphere of life.

Time has changed today's woman is in every sphere of life trying to make impact ;kitchen, home and family still remain a major priority of every serious minded married African woman. Her confinement to that jurisdiction now depend on what she sign up for during dating and early life in marriage. It is a known fact that Some African men choose to restrict their wives for their own ulterior motives while some are obliged by tradition and religion to do so. Some too come up with the restriction out of jealousy and over possessiveness while some don't just like competition with the opposite sex. Which ever reason a man has to restrict his woman, at a point she will always have the opportunity to stand for the restriction or stand against it most especially before marriage.

This is why courtship is crucial because it will be an avenue to know the restrictions on ground and then likely envisage the embargo you are like to face. Yes people change but you should be able to envisage the level of change expected. The simple truth is that in African home the Husband is the head of the house ;right from the scratch a woman must learn how to share in his authority most especially from the other room lol. If your opinion doesn't not count in the course of a "cushion talk" then forget the "pillow talk" it will not make a difference.